Pig: Guard Duck, this is Maura. She's a girl duck. I'm hoping that having a girl around will help calm you down.
Guard/Army Duck: How do you do, Ma'am?
Maura: QUACK
Guard Duck: Sir.... this is a non-anthropomorphic duck, sir
Pig: A what?
GD: Sir, I'm anthromorphic..that means I've taken on the characteristics of a human being...see how I talk and wear a helmet..this girl's just a duck.
Pig:And does that matter?
SP: I'm afraid it does, pig.
Pig: Stephan Pastis?! Creator of "Pearls before Swine?
S&P: Hi Pig. Yeah, listen...you can't introduce a non-anthro animal into the strip...they have to be able to talk and stuff...it's part of the premise.
Pig: I'm sorry Mr. Pastis, please don't fire me!
S.P.: Pig,Pig,Pig..RELAX buddy...you're the least of my problems. Believe me, I've got characters who..
Rat: Well well well..if it's not Mr. "I guess good art is no longer a requirement for the comics page."
S,P,: I gotta go.
Pig: It's ok, Stephan, you've got a nice personality.
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